I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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