have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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