batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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