How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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