i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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