I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
