I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
