My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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