So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
