I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
