I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
