Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
