He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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