is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
