i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
