Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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