pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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