this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Randomize
