All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize