i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
