He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
