'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
