I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
