I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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