You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
