Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry gizmo6969 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(770): View more from Georgia

I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today

Fav 6 1406 741
share tweet
(810): View more from Michigan

He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale

Fav 10 1128 4368
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(702): View more from Nevada

Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.

Fav 20 5759 1322
share tweet
(513): View more from Ohio

Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.

Fav 3 1107 2000
share tweet
(617): View more from Massachusetts

Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.

Fav 2 1817 1051
share tweet
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.

Fav 1 761 398
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(386): View more from Florida

He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is

Fav 2 496 964
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(757): View more from Virginia

Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.

Fav 0 24 50
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(704): View more from North Carolina

So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.

Fav 0 4 33
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT