put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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