no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
