PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize