Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
