I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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