So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
