I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
