I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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