Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
