Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
