Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
