when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
