You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize