Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize