I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
