I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
