Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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