you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
