Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
