Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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