don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
