plz talk dirty to me
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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