he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
