Will you blow on my dice?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
