I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
