You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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