Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
