Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
