Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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