oh god the rape fog is back!
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
