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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..

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• (818): View more from California

  I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it

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• (760): View more from California

  she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.

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• (716): View more from New York

  i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.

  (972): View more from Texas

  Wine is not your friend.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  Does he think you're psycho?

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Officially...... yes.

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• (516): View more from New York

  I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I think my nap took me to another dimension

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.

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• (347): View more from New York

  I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking

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• (619): View more from California

  See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning

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