I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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