Screwed.edu
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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