If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Do vagina's smell?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
