awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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