I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
